Secrets
by MirellaFrost
Summary: James and Lily are trapped in a broom closet together when a random conversation turns into both of them revealing their well-kept secrets. REPOSTED FROM OLD ACCOUNT.


**Disclaimer: I don't own this.**

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><p>I hate James Potter. I mean, I really, truly hate him. Him, with the jet black hair that never lies down, his mischievous hazel eyes and the arrogant look he has going on. And I hate his best friends, well maybe not Remus, but the other ones… To sum it up, I hate James Potter from the bottom of my heart.<p>

It's been six years, and a few months, since I first met Potter and the Marauders. Our first meeting was probably the thing that started this whole hating thing, we didn't really get the best start.

The school was starting the same day, all the new students sat in the Great Hall, waiting for our timetables. I vaguely remembered the four boys that had been sorted to Gryffindor along with me and the two girls I shared dormitory with, Alice Prewett and Mary Saunders. We sat together at the Gryffindor table, talking about everything, like the food, the ghosts, the Gryffindor common room, and Dumbledore, the crazy but brilliant man with hair whiter than snow. That's what we called him. Anyway, we sat at the table having a great time, until I heard someone call my name from behind.

"Hey Evans!"

"What?" I answered while I turned around. A second later, James Potter pointed his wand at me and shouted some spell I didn't understand. Then a beam of green paint came towards me, and hit me in my face.

"Potter! You stupid prat!" I shouted. Then I heard laughter. Everyone was laughing at me, on my first day in school. Bloody Potter had ruined everything. I turned around and ran out of the Great Hall. The last thing I heard was Potter shouting:

"That color matches your eyes!"

You might think that I should get over myself and forgive him. I mean, it was first year, first day. Maybe I should cut him some slack. Perhaps I would have if the pranks hadn't continued. Until third year, I was the victim of more than 75 % of the Marauders' pranks. So no, I never forgave him. I didn't think it would matter, that I would spend time with him in the future, so there was no point. That was, until I became Head Girl and had to live and patrol with the Head Boy, James Potter.

"I can't believe you got us stuck in here!" I screamed as loud as I could, even though he was sitting just a few feet away from me.

"Jeez, I can hear you Lils. Turn down the volume, will you?" he said, smirking slightly.

"I need to get out of here." I said to him, for like the hundredth time.

"I know that, but as you pointed out earlier, we're stuck. So you might as well calm down."

I didn't answer, I just continued to bang on the door, hoping that someone would pass by and save me from this hell. Potter seemed to be enjoying this though. He had sat down and leaned against the wall of the broom closet we had been trapped in for half an hour. I just need to point this out. I've been trapped in a broom closet with James Potter, for almost half an hour! Somebody help me!

"Why did we have to hide in here? Anywhere else would have been better." I pointed out to him.

"Sorry, I panicked. Filch would have caught us if we hadn't hidden in here. Did you want detention for Peeves mischief?"

"No. Thanks I guess."

"You're welcome. Now, why don't you come join me?" he said, patting on the floor right beside him. He was smirking again.

"No. Wait, did you plan this? Is this one of your stupid games to ask me out?"

"Actually, no. I got over you. The last time I asked you out was in May last year. By the way, do you really think I made Peeves fill the entire entrance hall with water to make you hide in a broom closet with me?"

"Oh. I was just wondering why you never pay any attention to me anymore…" I said thoughtfully. Don't get me wrong. I don't miss it, the whole please-go-out-with-me-Lily he has done since fourth year, was really annoying. But it was flattering. Wow, I never thought I cared, but I kind of miss it. What the hell did I just think? Shake it off Lily! You don't care about Potter, or what he says or does to you!

"I don't pay attention to you anymore?" he asked sounding like he doubted the statement deeply.

"Well, you never talk to me. You don't even prank me anymore. All you do is to hang out with those Marauder friends of yours!" I exclaimed. "That came out... louder than I planned." I apologized immediately and turned my gaze away from him in embarrassment.

"Jeez, you sure do have a temper Lils." I think he looked a bit afraid of me.

"Stop calling me Lils."

"Never."

"Please, I'm begging you. Lils make it sound like I'm a 5-year-old girl." I begged. It was true. I had hated the nickname Lils as long as I could remember, I wasn't too fond about Lily either (I mean, a flower?) but I had learned to live with it.

"Okay, what should I call you instead?" James asked curiously.

"I don't know." I said.

"How about Lil, Lila, Lilac?" he suggested.

"Are you kidding me? Do you have anything that isn't a color or a name that could be used for a little child?"

"No, sorry."

"Arrgh! I hate my name!" I screamed.

"Really? I always loved it. It's beautiful, it suits you." he said, looking a bit ashamed.

"I'm glad someone enjoys it. But seriously, who names their children after flowers?" I said as I sunk down on the floor next to James. Maybe it was the fact that the oxygen in the broom closet was running out, or just that James was easy to talk to. It felt like I could tell him anything. Anyway, our conversation had drawn me from the banging on the door to sitting next to the guy I had hated for six years.

"Lily is a very common name; it doesn't count as a flower name." James stated.

"Oh I'm sorry, but it does. My mother's name is Violet, my sister's Petunia and mine's Lily. Clearly a flower name." I said to him.

"Okay, I can admit to that. By the way, I feel extremely sorry for your sister."

"Don't be. She deserves it." I said without thinking. When I realized what had slipped out, I gasped loudly and put a hand in front of my mouth.

"What?" James asked staring at me with a weird look in his eyes, almost like he couldn't believe what I had just said.

"Nothing. I didn't mean anything." I tried, but it was too late. Unfortunately, James Potter wasn't dumb.

"Yes you did. You know, I might have believed you if you hadn't gasped and nearly slapped your own face when you put your hand to your mouth."

I didn't even answer, I just started at him with one of my murder gazes (Alice and Mary calls them that).

"Come on. Just tell me. What's the big secret? You don't get along with you sister, since when is that strange?"

"I said it was NOTHING!" I yelled at him. Okay, I know it was a big overreaction. But I always get like that when someone mentions my sister. To say we don't get along well is an understatement.

He looked a bit taken aback with my outburst. "Now I really have to know. Why is your sister such a touchy subject Lils?" I stared into his eyes, trying to make him scared or find out if he was planning on telling all the school about this. But all I could see was concern, for me.

I don't know what made me do it. Like I said earlier, James was just easy to talk to… Maybe too easy. I'm beginning to think I can pour my darkest secrets to him and still not regret it. Scary thought. But anyway, I said it. "My sister and I… have a complicated relationship." I sighed, pulled my knees close to my body and wrapped my arms around them.

"What do you mean complicated?" it sounded like he truly cared and wanted to know. So I continued.

"We don't like each other, or she doesn't like me." James didn't say anything. He just let me talk. "In the beginning, we were the best of friends. We spent all our time together, at the playground and we even shared a room even though she's five years older than me. Then I got my letter. I don't know if she was jealous or if she just… We didn't get on so well after that. I've barely talked to my sister for six years and I don't even know why."

"I'm sorry." James said and placed a hand on my shoulder. It felt surprisingly good. Why did it comfort me so much to have him near?

"It's okay. I accepted the fact that she sees me as a freak a long time ago."

"Excuse me? She called you a freak?" he sounded angry, but when I met his eyes I saw he was furious. "I'll kill her for you." he suggested.

"What? You can't kill my sister, no matter what she calls me." I said, sounding a lot like professor McGonagall.

"Can I at least hurt her for you?"

I was a bit worried he might do it so I decided to be very clear. "Don't hurt my sister, no matter what she does or says to me or anyone else."

"Fine." he agreed. "She really called you a freak?"

"A few times…" I answered. "Okay that was a lie. She's used it as a nickname since I was eleven. It sounds nice. Hey freak, how was freak school? A lovely ring to it, don't you think?" I said lightly to him, trying to make the whole conversation a bit more pleasant.

"I feel sorry for you. It can't be easy."

"No it's not, but I've learned to live with it."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, closer than we started out. I still had my arms around my legs and James' arm still rested on my shoulders for comfort. The silence wasn't awkward, on the contrary, I felt I could truly be myself when I was with James. It felt good. Our problem was completely forgotten, it wasn't even a problem anymore. I discovered that I'd rather spend an hour in a small broom closet with James Potter than in the Great Hall with my best friends, eating an excellent meal. It felt as if the more time I spent with him, the more I liked him, and needed him. I wasn't bothered with the fact that our legs were touching each other or that I could hear his breath right next to me. Actually, I felt like he wasn't nearly as close as I wanted him to be. The closer the better. I wanted him to touch me, to pull him close to me and feel his breath on my face, I wanted him to kiss me. To love me.

"Are you still with me?" James asked and nudged me slightly on the side.

"Yeah." I whispered. Because that was all the sound I could produce, since I'd just realized I'm bloody in love with James Potter. What the hell am I going to do? How did this happen?

"Now it's your turn." I finally spat out after a long time trying to collect myself.

"What?" he asked.

"It's your turn to tell a secret. I shared mine, it's only fair you tell me one." I said confidently. "And it has to be something no one else knows about. So no Marauder secrets."

James looked at me for a second before he spoke. "I don't keep secrets from the Marauders."

"Come on, just a small one. There has to be something Sirius doesn't know about your life."

"Well there only one thing I can think of, but I can't tell you." he looked like he was fighting an internal battle.

"James, I told you about my sister and that she hates me. You have to give me something." I had him and we both knew it.

"Fine. But you have to promise a few things…"

"Sure." I was willing to go with everything, since I was about to find out Potter's deepest and darkest secret, hopefully.

"You can't tell anyone. You can't laugh, cry, run away or act strange around me." James counted on his fingers while stating the conditions.

"Wow, a lot of things I can't do…" I teased him.

"Promise!"

"Fine. Those conditions go by my secret as well. Just so you know. And don't you dare tell Black anything. I will find out." I threatened. The last thing I needed was Sirius Black running around the castle telling everyone about my sister.

"Agreed. Are you ready?" he asked and changed his position so that he sat straight towards me.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Spill it."

"There's this girl." he started, and all I could think was NO! He can't be in love, I love him. Why this? Why now? Couldn't he like, not get over me? This is hopeless. A guy asks me out for three years and I say no every time. Then, months after he stops asking me out, I discover that I'm in love with him. Just my luck. "She's wonderful. The most beautiful witch I've ever seen, not only on the outside but her inside as well. I can't even begin to describe her." when he talked he looked into my eyes, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. But then I remembered, he had just told me about a girl he was crazy in love with. Why would he kiss me then? This girl he likes seemed to be a lot better than me.

"Do I know this girl?" I asked to keep the conversation going. If I stopped talking and listening I thought my heart might break.

"Yeah, she goes to Hogwarts, she's in Gryffindor."

"Is she in our year? Jeez James, are you in love with Mary?" Please don't be, please. I can't take it. Don't let it be Mary.

"No! It's not Mary." he answered. And I sighed in relief. Thank Merlin.

"Good." I added before I could stop myself. James was definitely too easy to talk to.

"What do you mean?" James asked, looking rather hopeful. I couldn't figure out why, not even with all my brain cells working on it. Maybe I was more stupid than I thought.

"Nothing." I answered, but both James and I knew that it was the same nothing I had given him earlier. This time he decided not to push the subject.

"Whatever." he told me. "You really don't know who it is?"

"No." But I know who I want it to be… "Tell me."

"You're going to have to guess." he said, his lips turning into that irresistible smile of his.

"Come on. At least give me some clues." I exclaimed, sounding a bit dramatic.

"Guess first, then maybe I'll consider giving you clues..." James suggested.

"Okay, were on. Is it Caroline Wentworth?"

James shook his head.

"Good, she's horrible. Anna-Beth Jones?"

He let out a laugh. "Isn't that the fourth year with extremely blonde hair?"

"Yes it is. What's wrong with her?"

"I'm not the blonde type, I'm more towards the red heads." he said and smirked. It suddenly struck me that he was waiting. But for what? For me to understand who it was?

"Okay, clue number one. I can take away everyone but Sarah Lewis and Catherine Perkins from the list. Can I have one more clue?"

James just stared at me in disbelief.

"What?"

"You can be very stupid sometimes Lily Evans."

"That's unfair. Give me one more." I asked him, and I beamed towards him. I was so sucking up. But I had to know who this girl was, so I could kill her or maybe hurt her badly.

"She can perform charms better than everyone else in her year, and probably in all years."

"Well it's not Sarah, she's awful at magic, I don't understand how she got in here. So that leaves Catherine Perkins." I shot a wicked smile at him.

"It's not Catherine." James said and looked at me like I was dumber than Pettigrew.

"But, that's everyone. There's no one else."

Now James stood up in the small broom closet where we were still trapped. "Are you kidding me Evans?" he yelled at me.

What did that come from? I rose to my feet as well. "Excuse me?"

"Are you telling me that there's no one else in the Gryffindor house that has red hair and is excellent in charms?" Wow, he looked furious. "Want some more clues perhaps? She has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen, no matter how hard I try I can't seem to tear away from them." Wait. This sounds familiar. "Yes, she's in my year. She is the kindest person I've met. She has two best friends that never leave her side." Oh Merlin, is this happening? Am I dreaming? "All the women in her family are named after flowers, but she's not too keen about it. Do you need more? For Merlin's sake, I love you Lily!"

He didn't have time to finish the sentence. I had already kissed him. James responded with such eager that he pressed me up against the wall of the broom closet. Not that I minded though, in fact, I rather enjoyed it. My hands were running up and down his back, pulling him closer to my body. I felt his tongue on my lips and I let him in without hesitating. It was the best kiss of my seventeen-year-old life. When he touched me it felt like I was about to explode with passion. I needed him. Then it struck me. I had him. James Potter was mine. I started giggling, and soon I had to break the kiss to get some air. While we were, not kissing, James pulled his fingers through my hair, playing with it slightly.

"I love you Lily."

"I love you too James."

"By the way Lils, it's your turn to share a secret."

I smiled and leaned closer to him. We were kissing once again.


End file.
